Once Upon A time
by noodle-kun and small and chibi like
Summary: Randomness from us fairytale style! With the Naruto gang of course.


Once upon a time...  
Little Red Riding Hood-Naruto style!

Noodle: New fic! I hope you all like! Chibi slept at mine, now my house smells.  
Chibi: Mmmm crumpets and azumanga diaoh. :) Noodle speaks polish without actually knowing any words.

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, yet. We will when we have WORLD DOMINATION

Note: We're the narrators but speaking directly at them we're in brackets, it was in speech marks but it got confusing. Anyways on with the fic, enjoy.

  
Once upon a time there was a pink haired girl named little red riding hood.  
"But my name's Sakura..." (Shut up we're telling the story bitch.)  
Today she was going to visit her sick granny, in the woods with cakes.  
"These are plastic..." (SHUT IT!)  
She put on her red cape with hood and skipped out of the house.  
"I don't skip..." (You do now.)  
So she skipped, and skipped, and skipped, and skipped and skipped. All the way through the woods accidently killing a few bunnies with plastic cakes on the way.  
"My legs hurt can I stop now!" (NO!... Oh wait yes you can, you're going to be eaten.)  
And suddenly came a wolf! Called Big Bad!  
"I'm called Naruto...and I'm a fox dammit!" The angry wolf shouted. (Read the script you two, or we'll sell you to gypsies.)  
"NOT THE GYPSIES!" Little Red yelled in vain  
"What's a gypsie Sakura-chan?" Big bad asked like the dumbass he is. (Read the script or we'll sell you.)  
"Fine fine..."  
"Hello there little girl. Where are you going?"  
"I am on my way to my sick granny's! With these cakes!" Little red threw up her basket killing another little bunny.  
(You don't sound girly enough! You sound like your voice has broken. Get girly now you mass bunny murderer!)  
"Where does your granny live little girl?" (You're doing great wolfy!)  
"In the little cottage in the woods!"  
"Ok then, I know a shortcut!" He grinned a wolfy grin before turning away and going BUHAHAHA!  
"Please tell me and I will go down it!" She curtsied.  
"Ok!" He told her where to go and she skipped away once again, killing a deer this time. (You killed BAMBI! Shit we'll have to pay someone something now. Leg it!)  
Little did she know Little Red had been tricked by the evil Big Bad Wolf! And now he was at the house before her. He entered to see a grey haired woman, err man sat in bed.  
"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here!" (Naruto shut the fuck up! You don't get extra ramen now! 'mumbling')  
"Helloooo Dearie!" Grandma-sensei said in a high pitched voice."Well! You've grown! You're hairier too! I always knew this would happen. I need my spectacle I can't see properly! It looks like you have whiskers!"  
"Yes. Granny."  
"Still you have that lovely womans shaped body."  
"Yes. Granny."  
"Well! What big eyes you have!"  
"All the better to blink with."  
"What big boobs you have!"  
"All the better to...I don't have boobs! That's it I'm eating you! I'm going to need lotsa ramen after this..."  
"GARSP SHRIEK! I'm being EAAAATENNN!" (nice one k-man, your reward will be great, and papery.)  
Meanwhile the mass bunny murderer was still on the loose and she was still skipping. Merrily. Until she reached her granny-sensei's house. She went in to find granny in bed, but hairier.  
"Granny your whiskers! They've grown. What have I told you about shaving regularly! Well I bought you cakes."  
"Why thank you my grandchild, All the better for me to get rid of old man, err woman taste." 'Granny' burped.  
"Here you go granny!" Little Red gave her granny the remainder of the cakes. (SMILE Sakura SMILE! Give your nan a kiss!)  
"Kiss?" She screamed whilst 'granny' puckered up. "I think you better it your cakes first!" She smiled. (Stop twitching!)  
"Thank you! Sa...Child." 'Granny' took a bite into the delicious baked wonders. "What the fuck, these are plastic! That's it I'm eating you too!"  
"Granny?"  
"No I'm the wolf you dumb fuck."  
"...oh yeah...ARGHHHH EEEEKK NOOOO!" Little Red ran away from the menacing wolf, into the fire.  
"I'm burning!" (No you're not it's just special computer fx) "It's not I'm dieing! Noooo!" (Great drama! What passion!)  
"Don't worry young child! I followed the trail of bunny corpses and found a damsel in distress. I will save yooooou!" The fearless woodcutter entered through the door. (Gai where's your costume?) "My zips stuck, and how i love my green tight fit! Getting the mold off afterwards is a bugger though." (...)  
"Please save me! Don't forget i'm BUUUUUURNING!"  
"I will cut this vile wolf in half to save my sexy rival!"  
"WHAT? I'm not dying in this!...right?" The wolf cried out in pain as the almighty woodcutter cut him into pieces and pulled granny-sensei out.  
"You are looking mighty fine rival kakashi! minus that intestine stuck in your hair." The woodcutter did a nice-guy pose.  
"Oh I am so flattered handsome young man!" Granny giggled high-pitched fluttering her eyelashes.  
"I'm still BURRRRNING! Oh god!"  
"Yes that is right I will save you! What did that nice fireman say? Oh that right! stomp on a fire to put it out!" The courageous woodcutter took swift action and stomped on the little girl. Hard.  
"I'm bleeding! NOOOO This hooded cape was brand new!" Little red screamed in pain.  
"Now for dinner how about we eat this tasty dead wolf."  
"DON'T EAT ME! I'm a fox I taste bad! Baaaaad!" (You're just lucky we sewed you back up)  
So granny, the woodcutter and a squashed little red riding hood all ate a tasty wolf soup! And they lived happily ever after.  
"This is a nice bath." The wolf said in the pot  
"You can stop narrating now." Said the handsome granny-sensei. (We'll only stop when something bad happens)  
"Sasuke's here!"  
THE END.

Noodle: Good or Shite? But be nice... or Chibi will cry! You can't make chibi's cry it's just to evil. Only I can make her cry by killing her pillow.  
Chibi:BTW Kakashi/granny was wearing a mask... hahaha so there. NOODLE SPILT MILK ALL OVER HERSELF! STUPID! (my neck hurts cuz of that frickin pillow... )  
Noodle: It missed that's all.

Next time: Three little pigs! Starring Gaara! Ino! Shikamaru! Chouji! Some other people! Orochimaru...!


End file.
